Singapore's diversity...
Ok, everyone knows Singapore is a MEGA diverse place with all kinds of fashion sense/races/looks/etc. In my bid to help the poor forlorn tourist understand Singapore (and Singaporeans) better, i decided tto come up with a list of the different kinds of people in Singapore. To all tourists out there, read this if you wanan know what Singapore is about. but... then again... what are the chances that a random tourist would visit my blog on a random chance? close to zero... but this is for the tourists anyway. :)
The 1st GenerationDefining Characteristics-Generally aged between 50 and 50,5000.
-Reeks with selfishness and inconsideration. Some literally run onto buses or trains and dive onto seats ahead of people who might need them more than they do, and later right in to the Straits Times Forum page to complain about the 'selfishness' of the younger generation.
Life Motto- you dont matter
fave hangout-consistently seen squatting on the seats of hawker centers with their slippers at their feet
- anywhere there is a queue
tips in dealing with their kindignorance is bliss...
The SlutDefining Characteristics-NORMALLY aged between 18-30 but there are a few special cases that are younger or older.
-typically dressed in 3cm long skirts and 3cm long tube tops, exposing as much thong or nipple as legally allowed.
Life Motto-to sleep with that guy whose hand I am NOT holding
-Leave nothing to imagination
fave hangout-Orchard Road
tips in dealing with their kind-STAY AWAY, if you just wanna look, look at them from far.
The PoserDefining Characteristics- aged between 15-25
- typically dressed in baggy pants (with one side rolled up) and baggy shirts, for guys, and tubes, for girls.
- Hair cannot be black. Normally hair is ash brown or copper but some have green or purple or blue hair.
- SOMETIMES they carry skateboards
Life Motto- I must act cool even if I'm not.
Fave hangouts-Orchard Road
tips in dealing with their kind-tell them that a really cool person would stand in the middle of the runway during a plane takeoff. As long as they think it's cool, they'ld do it.
The Happy ManDefining Characteristics-any age past puberty
-normally bulging with muscles and dressed in TIGHT tees and tight jeans
-sometimes exposes his pink thong, especially to other happy men.
Life Motto-To get other men to look my way.
Fave Hangouts-California Fitness gyms all over the island.
-Swimming pools (where they can see other topless happy men slick with water)
tips in dealing with their kind- throw a cockroach in his direction
The GuitaristDefining Characteristics-Aged between 5-40(normally they grow up after 40)
-Dressed in jeans so tight ants caught in between the jeans and the leg would suffocate. Some wear WIDE framed plastic spectacles or goggles.. Some also wear trucker caps that dont fit and point in any direction, as long as its not straight forward.
-guys MUST be skinny, girls MUST be fat.
-Must make alot of noise(e.g. playing the guitar on the train and acting all rowdy).
-Normally hang out with other guitarists, and at least one member of the group MUST have a skateboard.
Life Motto-I must attract aas much attention to myself as possible
-I must try my best to get into ITE.
Fave Hangouts-YouthPark@Somerset
-The underpass linking Esplanade to Citilink.
tips in dealing with their kind-Ask them what's 145+183. They'll be baffled by the fact that you used 3 digits at the same time.
The Potential GeniusDefining Characteristics-aged between 7 to 70
-Normally skinny and pale.
-typically dressed with jeans pulled up to the nipples and secured by a belt, polo tee tucked into the underpants, new balance trainers or cheap leather moccassins to adorn the feet and a backpack pulled tight over the shoulders.
Life Motto-Hide from the Light
-Books are the essence of Life
Fave Hangout-PC cluster Engineering Faculty NUS
-Libraries
tips in dealing with their kind-just throw them a book
The Sports Superstar Defining Characteristics-always dressed in bright colours of their favaourite sports (e.g. BIG lakers jersey and shorts and AND1 shoes or Man U/Arsenal jersey and the latest Adidas Street Soccer boots or NZ All Blacks jersey)
-has a belly so big his profile is larger than his front view.
Life Motto-I can play my sport better than you can
Fave hangouts-the benches around basketball courts/soccer/rugby pitches
how to deal with their kind-challenge them to a game of their "favaorite sport"
The AlienDefining Characteristics-cannot speak Singlish, speaks English with a weird accent
-bad fashion sense
-Hardly ever seen without other aliens around
Life Motto-I must bring more of my brethren over to conquer this tiny island
Fave Hangouts-Engineering Faculty NUS
tips in dealing with their kind-you're powerless to stop the invasion
The HOOOOOT babeDefining Characteristics-SOOOO hot guys go numb around her
-plays rugby
-Loves animals
Life Motto-i must bite off part of my boyfriends arm
Fave Hangouts-NUS
-Home
tips in dealing with her kind-for the guys, Dont get too close, or you'll find a fat indian foot in your face.
-for the girls its ok. :)
wanna find out who she is? scroll down...
too bad guys, she's MINE!!!! :)
Monday, September 04, 2006
FARTED @ 1:21 AM
