explanations...
As i was taking a shower just now i was engaged in a very interesting conversation with one of my fellow blockmates (who was taking a dump). Amidst the nerve-wrecking sounds of his barrage on the bowl, he screamed out this question:"WHY THE HELL DID YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD?!?!?!?" Completely shell-shocked by the bombardment and pinned down by the fear that he would turn his cannonade on me, i decided to provide him with an explanation. Trembling with the memory of his rectal blitzkrieg, i sit at my computer now typing this out.
1. it saves me money. I use about the same amout of shampoo now as i do toothpaste. I probably need about one bottle of shampoo to last me 6 months. AND... i cut my own hair, at home, so i dont have to fret over the money i put into the barber's hands.
2. It saves time. i dont have to stand in front of the mirror picking and picking at my hair and getting it into shape, cos the only way my hair COULD get out of shape is if a lorry runs over my head, and if that happens i wont be standing in front of the mirror anyway.
3. I'm streamlined. by shaving my head, if i volunteer as a human canonball, i would fly faster because of the reduced resistance caused by my lack of hair. This is the same reason why swimmers always wear a separate pair of swimming trunks on their heads: to reduce resistance.
4. I'm planning for the future. Looking at my family line, my dad is bald, 3 of my 4 uncles are bald. So... being bald now would only reduce the shock when i shed my own hair in the future. And balding is hereditary.
5. Its safer. I dont have to worry about tripping over my hair when i walk. nor do i have to worry about getting my hair burned in the jet exhaust during takeoff. or getting caught in the rotors of a chopper.
6. I dont need to get a toilet brush. My head now serves this purpose nicely.
After being provided with all these reasons as to why you should shave your head, i'm sure you are thinking, why don't i shave my own head too? yes, please do, join the legion of the bald. As Martin Luther King said, " I HAVE A DREAM, that black people, and white people, can sit side by side and bask in the baldness of the others head".
To the above mentioned deeblocker, please keep your artillery aimed away from me.
the bellows of your bowels echo in eternity...
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
FARTED @ 4:45 PM
